A couple of years ago I wrote a 9-Step Guide to a Budget (Yet Classy) Wedding. It was based on my experience of organizing and planning my own wedding. We’d planned to leave for extended travels after it, so cost was a major factor. Sure, the marriage didn’t quite pan out, but it certainly had nothing to do with pinching a few pennies.
Furthermore, it’s estimated that it will cost the British economy 5 billion pounds. FIVE BILLION POUNDS (you can imagine Austin Powers’ nemesis, Dr. Evil, while saying this). The country’s been given an extra bank holiday, which comes the same week as the 4-day Easter long weekend. Which means many people will be taking the extra three days off, or calling in sick, effectively closing many businesses.
Anyway, I thought I’d offer up some money saving tips for Bill and Kate, just in case they happen to read our website. Guys, feel free to use the cash you save on some orphans or something (just please don’t buy anymore weaponry for rogue states).
1. Keep the guest count down
Around 1900 guests will attend the service, with 650 invited to a lunch reception and around 300 to a dinner at Buckingham Palace. The guest list includes:
- Several members of foreign royal families (e.g. Crown Prince of Bahrain, the The King of Tonga, and the Sultan of Brunei)
- Dignitaries (e.g. the Governor-General of Jamaica, the Prime Minister of Australia, and the Chief Minister of Gibraltar)
- Representatives of the church and other faiths (e.g. Rabbi Alan Plancey, Imam Mohammad Raza, and the Archbishop of Armagh)
- Celebrities (e.g. Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean), David Beckham and his wife (what’s her face), and Sir Elton John)
We kept costs down by inviting only immediate family (not even their kids) and the closest of friends only. Of the 1900 invited guests, only 50 are members of the royal family. That’s 2.6%. Massive savings!
If anyone feels hurt by the exclusion, you could offer a Skype video conference (it’s free!).
2. Make your own invitations
Instead of wasting time stealing military helicopters and flying them to his girlfriend’s house (who paid for the petrol costs, by the way?), Prince William could instead be sitting at a dinner table with stationary, glue, and sparkles. With the guest list cut down to 50, this should be a piece of cake. And speaking of cake…
3. Make your own cake
The Macleans article mentioned above reports that their cake will cost up to $78,000, roughly four times as much as your entire average Canadian wedding. How good can cake get? Can it possibly taste as good as providing 78,000 children with clean water for a year?
OK, screw making your own cake. Just order in 1900 Krispy Kreme donuts. Who doesn’t love Krispy Kreme?
4. Wear an imitation wedding dress
Kate’s dress will cost around $315,000. That is mind-boggling. Does it transform into a Ferarri to drive away in after the wedding? I say, pop down to Hoi An, Vietnam with the design and get one made there. Seriously, who the hell will know the difference?
5. Cut back on photography costs
I couldn’t find out how much is being spent on photography. But here’s what you can do to save money. Let a couple paparazzi sneak in and stalk around snapping photos. Posed shots suck anyway. Candid ones are always more interesting.
6. Scale back on security
It seems a good chunk of the wedding cost is going towards security. Up to $32 million. According to this video, around 5000 police officers, including mounted police and dog sniffers, will be on hand to make sure there’s no monkey business. And you can bet that’s just what they want the public to know. What about all the undercover James Bonds?
Better foreign policy would negate some of that, but I guess it’s too late for that. I think they should just make better use of the closed circuit TV (CCTV) security system that talks. Imagine hearing this from out of nowhere: “Hey you, with the trenchcoat, don’t even think of pulling out that gun. We’re watching.”
7. Venue and flowers
Here you can kill two birds with one stone. The flowers are estimated to cost around $800,000. The Royal Botanic Gardens at Kew is apparently one of the finest in the world. What, that’s not good enough for the royal couple? It even has the word “royal” in it. Get married there. I’m sure if you asked nicely you’d get a group discount for your 50 guests.
8. Cut back on street cleaning costs
Most of the costs will be borne by the royal family and the Middletons. Except for security and street cleaning. This is on the taxpayer. Here’s my suggestion: Let everyone keep their taxes, but ask them really nicely to go out and pick up one piece of trash each and put it in a bin.
Do you have any money saving tips for the Royal Wedding? We’d love to hear them!
[Feature image: djking]